Emerge

by Chris von Sneidern

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01:54
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04:39
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04:42
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04:16
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04:06
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03:44
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06:14
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03:16
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05:02
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10:56

credits

released July 27, 2019

Ben Andrews - violin
Carroll Ashby - trombone
Jamin Barton - saxophone
Rob Bayne - percussion
Nelson Bragg - percussion
Bryan Cain
Marc Capelle - piano
Danny Eisenberg - organ
Ari Gorman - bass
Michael Israel - drums
Kevin Jarvis - drums
Robert Lloyd - mandolin
Prairie Prince - drums
Pete Straus - bass
John Stuart - drums
Chris von Sneidern - bass, keyboards, guitar, vocals, producer mixer

Recorded in Tape Vault Studio, San Francisco
Additional recording Hyde St Studios, SF and Sonic Boom Room, Venice, CA

Photography Charlie Homo, White Sands New Mexico

www.ChrisvonSneidern.com
©℗ 2019 Chris von Sneidern

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all rights reserved

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about

Chris von Sneidern San Francisco, California

Chris von Sneidern (CvS) is a San Francisco-based singer/songwriter and recording artist with thirteen critically acclaimed, self-produced albums. CvS has entertained audiences with his music in Japan, Spain, and throughout the UK and USA. He owns and operates a commercial recording studio in San Francisco. ... more

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Track Name: Emerge
Emerge

Although so long ago
I recall a horror show
A boy afraid to swim is going in

Screaming I am thrown
To the bottom like a stone
Betrayed, my undertaking would begin

When I was too young
A memory stuck in strong
But wrong

Margins moving in
My worries sticking in

Imagine feeling drowned
Oppressed, confused, and bound
I flee to other hideouts underground

I contemplate my life
The tears, the years of strife
I'm tired, it’s time for me to be healed

So while I sink down there
The bottom cold and bare
I find a new way out and then emerge
Track Name: Fight
Fight

You’re gonna fight Yeah, you’re gonna fight
You’re gonna fight a lot, whether you like it or not

Dad has the hatchet, mom’s in the bed
Big Jim’s gonna get it in the arm or the head
Everyone’s hurt, everyone’s scarred
My brother and I still asleep in the car

in the ‘62 Chevy, I wake to the night
High beams revealing a figure in light
Nothing makes sense, my brother’s upset
Your father in handcuffs, you’ll never forget

You’re gonna get it
You hit me, I hit you, you hit me, I hit you

School bus teasing was too much to bear
Hit with a hammer and blood in my hair
My mother’s advice with infinite grace-
“Just punch the bastard in the goddamn face”
Next week we fought in the mud and the grass
The neighbors, my brother, the 6th grade class
I bloodied his nose, and what did I get?
Dinner at Sambo’s and the TV set

You’re going to stand up to him
He’s gonna face off with you
You’re gonna fight till the end
Cos that’s how we do…FIGHT! Fight fight

Thanksgiving fight, Big Jim hit her hard
Mom’s looking for her glasses in the unraked yard
Big Jim eats, my brother lets out a sob
Crying in his turkey while I’m stuffing my gob

Doing the sound in a bar with a stage
I got a reputation, but this guy’s in a rage
Pegged pants, Chuck Taylors, and some toe-headed dude
They want an early load in so I know I’m screwed
Indie rock singer that no one will hear
Having a tantrum with his thrift store gear
Too young to know better, too old to be hip
Shoves me off the stage and I do a backflip

In another age, I repressed my rage
I fantasized with violent eyes
Let me turn the page I will not engage
I choose not to fight you guys
Track Name: Tree Fort
Tree Fort

Built to keep all the rain out
And be all hidden
This is my tree fort and All Are Forbidden
Short applause from poplar trees
Congratulations no one sees
On my platform of stolen wood
I’d stay all winter if I could
Tree fort, tree fort
Suspicious of valuables I cannot collect
No locks, no lights, no fence to protect
In fear of intrusions I have to avoid
If I make this too nice, it will be destroyed
Silently sitting all damp with rain
I’ve taken the throne in my domain
There’s nothing to do now, I’ll never learn
If you have to leave, you can’t return
Tree fort, tree fort aw yeah

I’m alone
And not afraid
I dream of life
I saw the stars
This is my house
My little man cave
I feel grown up
Watching, hiding in here

Sounds of spanking, you scream and shout
as the fireman put your tree fort out
Sundown you better take care,
left a candle burning in your backyard lair
Tree fort, tree fort
Tree fort
Track Name: Hey Ron
Hey Ron

Lonely soul Saved by rock ‘n’ roll
The riff gets into me, the groove straight thru the door

Harmony on a sweet free melody
Timely reverie
Soothes me to the core

Speak To Me, Live With Me, Rock ‘n’ Roll

Lock the door
Lie down on the dusty floor
Studyin’ the liner notes
Crediting the great unknowns
Wood and wire, Fender amplifier
The stereo goes till the bass gets in my bones

Stay With Me, Drink To Me Rock ‘n’ Roll
Stand By Me, Night Klub

Burned out basement but they got some good speakers
On the floor with headphones in my sweaty old sneakers
Finger flickin’ through the B’s and C’s of my collection
Thirty seconds left till I spin the next selection

Lean On Me, Call On Me, Rock ‘n’ Roll
Hold Me Tight, Start Me Up,

Lonely soul needs his Rock ‘n’ Roll
The beat gets under me, lifts me off the floor

Harmony with the New World Symphony
Twelve records for a penny
Let me pick one, can we get some more?

Hear Me Lord, Time Is Tight Rock ‘n’ Roll
Babylon, Come On, Come On, Rock ‘n’ Roll
Hand In Hand, Garageland Rock ‘n’ Roll
Don’t Lie To Me, O My Soul Rock ‘n’ Roll
Tell Me Why, Hushabye Rock ‘n’ Roll
Track Name: Feline
Feline

Cooing little cutie with the cross eyed blues I’d never trust you
Short haired, champagne, calling out my name like we were just two
Quiet on your feet, you wouldn’t take a seat just a little run-through

Then you were checking out my pad, make yourself at home, I said

Feline, feline, feline, feline, feline, feline
Feline, feline, feline, feline, feline, feline

Not paying attention you mention two vital things that give me signal
Oh kitten, I’m smitten although we’ve only just met I’m intermingled

Now you’re all up in my world Like I’m thinking you’d be my girl?

Feline, feline, feline, feline, feline, feline What do you want
Feline, feline, feline, feline, feline, feline

My feline whether or not it’s for real
You’re so fine who knows...why care how it feels?
Let’s combine A stranger still understands
Our bloodline the sight and sounds of strange lands

Missing for days I come back thinking of ways to make it right
Wearing two hats, I figure all other cats would have to fight
You’re reeling, I’m dealing with something bigger than me
that leaves me sadly contrite

So, to sneak in once is alright, but you can’t stay every night

Feline, feline, feline, feline, feline, feline
Feline, feline, feline, feline, feline, feline
Track Name: Leaving Here
Leaving here

Strained at the end of my rope
Tied to the ways I’m taught
Pain has relief and release
I stumble as I reach out
Plans are hatched to leave the nest
Hopes set to survive

‘cause I’m leaving here

I couldn’t say it out loud
I moved on while no one saw
It hurt so much deeper that way
All unresolved and raw

Fear filled our mouths that day
Words of love had ceased
Bad news, as bad as it was
Offered a topic at least

Travel so far and so wide to the stars!
I look back to make sure you see
I never thought we would get too far apart
but this is a place I can be

Where does the wanderer go?
Deeper inside himself
Finding excuses, unable to see
Deeper inside himself
Just leaving here
Just leaving home

If in time you change your mind
I’ll help you out
You’re still my baby boy

Me, the prodigal son
Trying to resume the game
So out of touch with your lives
Can I reveal my shame?

Out there I’ve made my life
Somehow I found my way
Now give me permission, help me along
Tell me it’s okay
For leaving here
For leaving home
Track Name: Ravens
Ravens

Ravens flying as a pair
Are they fighting, do they care
Don’t fly away
Don’t run away, we live today

One direction all day long
Rising rock forms feeling strong

Oceans nearing
Surfing song
I hadn’t noticed
Stretched out long

Don’t run away
Don’t fly away
Don’t scare us off, tread lightly where you go
Don’t run away
Track Name: It's Time to Go
It's Time To Go

hello
how are you
is it so
it's time to go

are you ready?
no
are you sure?
i don't know
it's time to go

life is short
it is good
we'd all have
a second chance
if we could

i'm scared
and alone
i'm sorry
i know
it's time to go

it's just begun
how so
it's over
good run
it's time to go
goodbye
it's time to go
Track Name: Breathe
Breathe

What’ll I do? What’ll I do?
Now she’s gone and I can’t take it
Distractions and kicks, this I can fake
Dunk me back down in the water
Work on myself maybe do nothing
Swimming is safe with a partner
Floating alone, floating not so together
Holding my breath even harder

What’ll I do?
Breathe out, breathe in

Can’t go home no one to play songs to
No one to write letters to
I hitched my wagon to a woman who
needs to prove I need her too
Like grains of sand, throw her back in
Melt down my mind and roam
I own nothing but now I am walking all the way back home

Breathe out, breathe in, breathe out
What’ll I do?
Track Name: It's Gonna Be Alright / Molly
It's Gonna Be Alright

I did it back then
I'm gonna have to do it all again
it hurt me way back when
it's going to hurt for a while again

I've made my bet
I'm gonna have to make with all I'll get
it's only work I see
and there's a whole lot more for me

I had a chance I remember when
and now it's time to take a chance again
I wonder why the time is now
but it was always time

Things have a way of working themselves out for the best
Now's the time to step up, mourn the loss and leave the rest
It's gonna be alright don't go away
It's gonna be alright don't run away
It will be alright I know

I wanted it then
I'm gonna want to do it all again
It waits inside below
desire for ones I must forgo

When hopes have flown
I tolerate some time to be alone
to lick the wounds, they'll split some more
this reunion nevermore

It's where I've been, but can't remember when
I'm gonna have to go there once again
'cause with what I've just been dealt
I'm gonna learn to know just how it felt

It makes up everything I am come here come here
and everything I do in everywhere i go It's gonna be alright

'cause I’m afraid to change
I’m afraid to try
I’m afraid to jump, afraid to fly

I’m afraid to live
I’m afraid to cry
I’m afraid to love
I’m afraid to die
Track Name: Why Didn't You Save Me?
Why Didn't You Save Me?

Why didn't you save me?
Why didn't you take my hand, and make me understand

Why couldn’t you touch me, a simple act to love me
I never knew what to do, what to trust, or whom
I assumed I didn’t deserve it and too shy to mind

Why couldn’t you keep it, keep it all together
A little boy who needs his dad, something you never had
I’ve hidden it deep inside, now it’s something I cannot hide

Why couldn’t you stay with me, protect and pray for me
They babysat me after school and drowned me in the pool
They fished me out, but I know what this joke’s about
I was a little guy, couldn’t defend myself
Shouldn’t be expected to do it myself, I needed your help

Why didn't you save me?
Why didn't you save me?
Why didn't you keep an eye, keep me away from that guy
Why didn’t you hold me, instead ignore and scold me
Fear and shame and guilt is how I’m built

Why didn’t you see me, what it’s like to be me
Like a mirror reflecting you, repeating the things you do

Why couldn’t I save you, why couldn’t I save you?
Why couldn’t I make you smile, entertain you all the while

Why couldn’t you save me?
Why couldn’t you save me?
Why didn't you save me?
Track Name: Grow Up and Start Having Fun
Grow Up and Start Having Fun

My days fill with endless joy
Suspended in contingencies
Will I allow myself to become what I’m bound to be?

Strange, so strange, to change, how my mind’s arranged

Tomorrow’s a rising sun, grow up and start having fun

If I wanna let it in, why can’t I let it go?
But some days I float so free and all of me can show

Strange, so strange, to change, how my mind’s arranged

Ideas becoming one, grow up and start having fun

Is it like giving up?
More like taking it on
Is it death of your youth?
It’s a beginning for me
Can you do what you want?
It’s your life and you can do what you want

Death to my vanity
Simple wisdom to seek
New joys replace the old
But bittersweet after the peak

Strange, so strange, to change, how my mind’s arranged

No badge for battles won
No breaks for anyone
Grow up and start having fun
Track Name: Animal
Animal

You’re an animal You’re an animal
Teeth sharp, bleed the beast, You’re an animal
Same as you are, you freaky beasts
You’re an animal Yes, an animal
Scream, shout, slave to the moon, you’re an animal

You’re an animal an animal
Run, hide, death will come soon, animal
Save your coupons, save your dimes
Special offer, you’re out of time, animals

You’re an animal Yeah, an animal
You work eat sleep, animal
You’re an animal You’re an animal
Why can’t you fall asleep, ha ha ha ha

2 a.m. choices, life on the edge, you have
Insomniac nightmares, impossible schedule, and you’re an animal

You’re stuck in traffic, a crash in the rain
Afraid of the subway, you stand on the train, all the way home

You’re an animal an animal
Adventure in sorrow, our stories are one animal
You’re an animal You’re an animal
Taming your beasts, nurture the young animals

Shelter and comforts, lucky in crime
Aging and illness, money and time
It’s a hard fact of life...you know. Ha!

The animal sees the animal
Sensing, watching, the distance in feet to the animal
The animal looks the animal in the eyes, you’re on the street, like an animal
You look away, don’t bring the heat, we’re just animals

This animal, I know this animal
Selfish, lazy, vain as well, you’re an animal
He’s fearful, lonesome, scared as hell
You’re an animal

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